Focus on Improving Yourself Today, NOT on Past Alcoholism

The question often comes up as to whether someone who is trying to quit drinking alcohol outside of a 12-Step program should attend Alcoholic's Anonymous meetings. I am not an advocate for any type of fellowship with other alcoholics, such as what AA does - and the reason is because this encourages people to continually focus on their mistakes and wallow in their misery. In fact, it actually perpetuates the problem of alcoholism as people tend to develop "paralysis by analysis". That is, they spend so much time on talking about and analyzing their drinking problem that they never get around to actually DOING something about their drinking problem.

It is a known fact that many of those who participate in AA-type programs end up drinking alcohol immediately after their fellowship meeting is over with. Furthermore, they continue to analyze their drinking problem, and the need to change their lives, while simultaneously consuming alcohol and getting drunk.

They rationalize this behavior because others in the group are also drinking, and the camaraderie somehow makes them feel better since they're not the only ones giving in to temptation. Groups like this seldom help the individual overcome an alcohol addiction because all the members are constantly being dragged down to the level of the group as a whole, via groupthink and the psychology of misery-loves-company.

Focus on That Which You Want to Become

Get involved with groups that focus on the POSITIVE TRAITS that you'd like to have in your life, rather than with people that want you to continually re-live your past failings. For instance, perhaps you always wanted to learn the guitar, or study acting, or get a black belt in karate. Try joining a local club that is dedicated to what you wish to learn, and you'll find that when you focus on the positive things that you want to come INTO your life, the previous bad habits will simultaneously fade OUT of your life.

Not sure what you'd like to do? Just think about it for a little while. There will be SOME thing that you always wanted to DO or BECOME or TRY that will make you a better person. Maybe it's learning a new language, or volunteering, or going back to school or even moving to a different part of the country. It is THOSE positive things that you should focus your energy upon. Whatever it might be, there will be a dozen ways to get involved with people who have similar interests as yours. The more you get involved with groups that share your positive interests and goals, the more likely you are to adapt those positive traits into your own life.

Remember, that which you focus on in your life becomes stronger. Instead of joining a group like AA and focusing on alcoholism, join a group that helps you develop your attributes, your strengths, your interests - and all the good things that you have inside of you that are just waiting to come out.

Focus on what you want to BECOME, and not on what you once were. Before you know it, you'll become that new person, and you'll feel happier and healthier than you've felt in a long, long time.